Lately, I’ve been struggling with my personal journey of spiritual growth. It has largely been my belief (at least lately) that one should be able to carry out every act in life in a mindful, meaningful, and loving, manner. In terms of my academics, last semester, this was more effortless. I was passionate about what I was focusing on in each course and I found the learning environments invigorating. This semester, however, I have not had the same luck. It has been difficult for me to make a good portion of my coursework personally meaningful, I’ve struggled with disempowering classroom environments, and some of my grades have been reflecting my consequential attitudes, which only works to exacerbate the problem.
I’ve felt myself bucking against some of my academics, asking myself that if the work is not meaningful or empowering, why should I be spending my energy on it, when I could be doing things that are so much more spiritually rewarding? Why do so many students have the notion drilled into their minds that these four (or more) years of their lives are supposed to be devoted to studying (whether it is meaningful or not) – as if during these four years they should be willing, in essence, to put their lives on hold while they complete this requirement of obtaining a college degree? I know that the implications in these questions are fairly reductive, but I feel that they should be asked nonetheless and know that many would do well to reflect on them. I find myself often asking questions like these after I realize that I’ve gone through a period of time on “autopilot” (if you know what I mean).
What do you think? What does this period of your life mean to you and how do you determine what to invest energy/time in (or how much); or have you simply found that you can go about your life, and complete all of your obligations in a mindful, loving way?
I have also struggled with this concept of balancing school work, social time, and spirituality. Being a creative mind in a business curriculum has also had its taxing moments (no pun intended) and I know what you mean by feeling as though you are on autopilot completing your work in a passionate-less environment.
ReplyDeleteThe way I have tried to deal with this issue is to inject intentionality in my studying. Even when the coursework is dry and seemingly irrelevant to your personal development, if done with intention, it can feel more rewarding. I have also found that studying with intention is satisfying in itself in the way that you are able to accomplish something in a concentrated period of time and then have more time to spend in social situations or with your own spirituality. Instead of spending double the hours half-concentrating and having no free time, you can cut the time in half and work with intention.
That's my two-cents!
Karen
Dude, this completely sums up me last year. I was at the height of my social life but the complete and utter low of my academic one. My grades sort of suffered, but would I take any of the bonds, growth, experiences, mistakes - any of it back? No way.
ReplyDeleteI say: Obviously do your best to balance, but you never know when social opportunities will rise like these again. Even this year, I'm not half as social as last year. But my lifestyle is also really different (I have a b/f, I don't live in the dorm, etc.) so it's okay. But a big part of me still misses those days!
For me, college has been a trade-off. On one hand, some of my classes are POINTLESS, absolutely soulless and i have to take them even though they bring me no inspiration: biochemistry, for example. On the other hand, I love ann arbor, i love being surrounded by young intellectuals and music and diversity. The people I have met have changed me and sent me whizzing down this path toward spiritual satisfaction. And i DID love many of my classes - philosophy, psychology, neurobio. Even though I'm pretty sure I won't be doing these as careers anytime soon, they still catalyzed my inner transformation. That is what i value.
ReplyDeleteLooking back, sometimes i'm wont to say, "Hey, this is not fair, nobody ever told me about spirituality, nobody told me i didn't HAVE to be materialistic. Back then I thought I had to be a doctor and find the cure for cancer because that's what everyone ELSE thought was in store for me. Now this was a big waste of time."
Eh, I don't blame 'em, and I don't blame myself. Perhaps this had to happen for me to wake up. That's all that matters to me now, anyway.