Intro & love

Hey guys! I'd like to do an introduction of some sort as well. You could consider this an abridged introduction to Mandie's spirituality ;)

I'll begin by saying that "spirituality" was never a term that I felt personally resonated with me for the entirety of my life until about this past summer. I was raised Roman Catholic, but the faith or practice was never taken seriously in the environment in which I was raised. Consequently, I stopped practicing the religion when I came to college and did embark on a period of exploration, though it was largely in vain. It was basically the quest for the "answer" to the question "Does it make sense to believe?" which I'm sure many of you can relate to having inquired in your past. In speaking with many people from a range of different faiths as they attempted to convey the meaning that their practice and beliefs infused into their lives, I slowly gathered the impression that this was not something that I could reason myself into or out of (Yes, I am very fond of reason. Too fond of reason.) I came to resign to the attitude that spirituality was not something that I could find unless it found me.

Now I attribute the beginnings of my spiritual awakening to my trip to Vietnam and Cambodia this past summer. To give you the gist of it, I gradually realized that the cultures that I was immersed in viewed the world, people, and their lives in fundamentally different ways than I had ever been exposed to previously. The differences that I was most focused on were the almost complete disregard for material wealth and a much higher importance of relationships and meaning in life (life that is now, not 10 yrs, 5 yrs, or even 1 yr, from now). Experiencing this reality resulted in a deep awakening and desire inside of me. I didn't exactly know what it was, but this yearning and simultaneous serenity that I felt had a distinctly different quality and color to it that was foreign to anything I'd ever felt before.

Fast-forward to my current state of being: I've explored various spiritual practices over the last semester and have found some hardly meaningful, while others much more so. I definitely live my life in a state of more complete awareness. Whereas before this last summer, I would live my life half-asleep, half-aware, half-present; now I am much closer to truly living. For instance, the other day I was musing about the way in which I remember my life. There’s a difference now between the memories of passing days – each day is distinct for its meaningful experiences, while before, days were all methodical, habitual accomplishments. They all blended together in my memory like a homogenized blur. Now they are discreet. Luminous, glittering, vibrant Sundays, Wednesdays, Late-Thursdays-That-Carry-Into-Fridays.

And lastly, I believe that over these last few months I've truly learned what it means to love. If you were to ask me what "spirituality" means to me in the present moment, "love" would be my reply, for I've come to realize the sweetness in giving it to and receiving it from others (I mean anyone). For me, experiencing another person, receiving a glimpse of their humanity - the essence of their being - is loving, and every interaction with another being can be an experience of love. This is something that I now try to focus on as steadfastedly as possible, for when I do, I am always spiritually blessed.

I apologize for the slightly erratic and stream-of-consciousness nature of this response, but I hope that some of you can connect with these feelings or experiences or will maybe feel the desire to offer your own thoughts! Thank you for taking the time to read it!