So I unfortunately did not get to attend the intro to meditation class or whatever it was on Thursday, which was something I had been looking forward to. But it was for good reason, which leads me to this short story:
Thursday night I drove home to spend the night/Friday with my mom and sister just because I had this strange feeling that told me I needed to go home. I couldn't tell you where it came from or why I trusted it, but there it was. And so I did.
When I told my sister of this spontaneous plan, she was thrilled, but then cautiously asked me if I would be staying Friday too. I asked her what the hell she was being so shady about (as my sister and I never have a problem being completely honest with one another) and she admitted that she wanted me to come with her to one of her AA meetings on Friday.
Now, I'm not an alcoholic, but I have had my fair share of non-substance addictions with which I still struggle. Knowing this, Carly (my sister) said that it was totally acceptable to just say "Hi I'm Piper and I'm an addict", as not everyone in the group was solely an alcoholic and often introduced themselves that way as well.
So I went. I didn't know what to expect, but I went. And I am so grateful for the experience.
There were people there from age 22 to 85, from all different walks of life, and every one of them struggles daily with a disease that constantly plots to overtake them. They have to fight against their own thought patterns, patters that they did not design but were genetically ingrained within them. These people had stories that could reduce anyone to tears. And yet (and here's the beautiful part) not one of them spent their few minutes of speaking time throwing a pity party for him/herself. Every SINGLE one of them had some positive insight or outlook to share with the group. I was astounded that so many people who have an arsenal of reasons to bitterly turn their backs on optimism had taken the diametric path.
After listening, I found a common thread that weaved their stories together. Everyone there did not resent their dark past but instead expressed gratitude for it. One man said "being an alcoholic is the best thing that ever happened to me". A paradoxical thought at first, but upon deeper reflection one can see the simple, beautiful logic in the statement. Yes they all endured (and still endure) pain and suffering, but grew stronger in overcoming those horrors. From the darkness sprang forth a light.
I left the meeting refreshed, my heart swollen with faith, hope, and love. And I hope this little tale brings some of those invaluable emotions to you as well :).
Thanks so much for sharing that! I know it can be difficult to be vulnerable and show our weaknesses. The fact is we are all broken but can come to a better understanding and perception of life. I too struggle(d) with addiction and it's not a fun time. However, this darkness that I experienced made it easier to see the light. It's a great feeling to know that despite our failures, mistakes, and shortcomings, we are still loved in this Universe. "And now these three things remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love."
ReplyDeleteawesome post! you should read the tail end of my essay; I know it's super long. but it explains how re-attributing ones feelings of past events, can significantly produce a happier present well-being
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